Dependency Breeds Trust

Trust. Dependency. Intimacy. Singleness. These words sum up my encounter with CGA Welcome Week. The infamous welcome week full of introduction, games, time with the Lord, and dreaming about what this next season will be! I did not expect to be so challenged and so rocked.

TRUST.

I thought I understood trust. I thought I gave and earned trust easily. I thought I had complete trust in God. I thought… I thought.. I thought.. 

I thought wrong. 

During one of our team-builder exercises, the apprentices were challenged to complete the Spider Web Challenge. Imagine string that is taped across, up, down, and diagonal creating a spider web large enough to fit bodies through, but small enough to have to carefully plan how to fit everyone through. Due to rules, a lot of the apprentices had to be lifted and pushed through the web. I decided that I would not be lifted, but be a lifter because I did not trust people carrying me. I like to be in control. It ended up being that I had to be lifted and pushed through the web. TRUST! In the moment leading up to being lifted, there was revelation that I had trust issues with guys and more importantly God. I let God in easily, but I do not give him control of my entire life. I have a trust issue with God. 

Dependency.

Through the trust issue, I felt God speaking to my spirit that I need to learn to depend on Him in all things. Through His Word, worship, and prayer, I heard Him say that this next year in my life is going to be hard. It is going to be a time where I must depend on Him for my every need. I challenge you to really think about that. Do you depend on God for your EVERY need, or do you take matters in to your own hands. For me, this is an area of continual growth in my relationship with the Lord. Dependency breeds trust. 

Intimacy & Singleness. 

Along with trust and dependency, I felt the Lord speaking to me about true intimacy and singleness. During one of our quiet times, I opened Scripture to Song of Solomon 1. Through that passage, I felt God asking me if I knew Him intimately like Solomon knew His bride and vice versa. That book has so many gems in it that reflect Christ’s love for His children. I have never seen God as my “lover” but only as my Father and Friend. This year, He has asked me to commit to being intentionally single. A year where I seek after His heart, and He seeks after mine. I’ll go in more detail on my next blog about singleness and intimacy. 

 

The first week has me totally excited and totally overwhelmed. CGA is being used to lay firm foundation for a future of long term missions. The Lord is rooting me deeper and deeper into Him, so that He may be more glorified in the nations. I love how He sees us individually and grows us uniquely. Here is to a year of being intimate with the Lord becoming healthy for the field.  

Kristie Allison